At the Moment I knew GOD

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From the time, I have my senses and from the time I have understood the world around me, I always believed that there was God. God initially was in all the pictures and idols at home. He had various shapes and an endless list of names and different responsibilities too. He was there in all those things which had no explanations, I was told I should do it or they exist because of God. 

As I grew up life around me changed and so did I. The first time ever, I remember being amazed, dazzled by Child birth. My sister in law (bhabhi) was pregnant with the first baby of our next generation. There was a lot of excitement in the air and she had all the special treatment in place. Till now, I knew God only the way mom had told me.( too many faces and names). Nothing about that had changed.

Bhabhi delivered a princess on November 10, 2004.She came home with Poorvi (that’s what we call our Princess) on November 11, 2004. I still remember the evening I was sitting with her in the room and staring at Poorvi. I had tears in my eyes; I was going thru a wave of emotions of happiness, gratitude and wonder. That’s when, I asked bhabhi “Isn’t it a wow feeling, a living being has come out from you, there was nothing in there and now there is life, a doll who cries, who smiles, who laughs, and who is more precious than our own lives?” She instantly said, “If you are experiencing all these beautiful feelings, imagine what I as a mother am experiencing”. 

It’s been 6 years and I still wonder what is that gave life to that little one. It can’t be science, because if it was science, then there would be neither empty wombs, nor dead babies being born. It has to be something which actually is unexplainable and this unexplainable phenomenon made me realize “That’s God”. After this moment a lot of things in life made me more inclined to God and this time my God had no name, no face. I could give him the name and the face I wanted to and I could also get as close to him as I wanted.

I was forcefully (only dad can do that) enrolled into a holistic course. When I finished this course, I believed dad does know what’s right for me. In this course, I learnt mediation and it took me closer to the unknown. Closer to God. It helped me discover me and it made me believe that I am indeed a blessing and I am one of god’s favorite child.

Now, I communicate with God, he is my friend.  It’s a beautiful feeling to be able to talk to him.  Sometimes, I wonder if I create these conversations or they actually exist and at these moments I smile and tell myself “Where God is concerned there is always wonder and no wonder this world is so wonderful”. After all its “God’s grace”.

P.S- Thanks to Megha Bajaj (Journalist/author) for the guidance in the process of writing.