"She never calls, I am the one who calls her all the time and she always says I was thinking of you or I am missing you or I was going to call you..... " does she mean all this or she just says it to console me? Do I even matter to her? She sounds genuine… but… So many thoughts, so much of confusion, so much of agitation for one beautiful relationship. How wonderful it would be if I could stop reading between the lines. She said she misses me, maybe she does. I feel so special and loved, even though she didn't call. But if I start questioning every sentence of hers, I will en up spoiling everything. I love her, I want to call her, calling her makes me happy so why should I read between lines, question where no questions are required and mess up a meaningful friendship. In fact, can I not think, "wow, we are so spiritually aligned, she thinks of me at the same time I think of her?"
The first day of the week and my boss screamed at me for something which had gone wrong on Friday and I like most people said, "he must have had an argument with his wife and he is taking it out on me." I now believe he has some past like enmity with me and will hinder my career growth. Oh, where all my mind takes me. How productive I could have been the whole day if I just appreciated him for holding on till Monday, so my weekend doesn't get spoiled thinking about the criticism. It was indeed such a thoughtful act, instead, thoughtlessly I spoiled my whole day, and several of my colleagues too because once again, I read between the lines where there was nothing to be read!
I read a beautiful story in Chicken Soup about a girl and boy who love each other. Neither has the courage to tell the other. Both read between lines, analyse, reach the conclusion that there is no hope. The boy marries his sister's friend whom he has no feelings for and the girl, her neighbor, and both have unsuccessful marriages. Twenty five years later, both single, meet at a re-union and realize the truth and get together. While the story made me smile, I wondered how sad it was twenty five years of bliss were compromised upon simply because neither was willing to face facts, both read between lines.
So much goes wrong when we read between lines, analyse stuff with half knowledge and no true facts. When I read between lines I lose my peace of mine. I create misunderstandings. I lose my spontaneity as I keep analyzing everything. I lose my focus from the actual issue. I stop seeking solutions and instead just keep myself lost in a world of questions and ambiguity. I can read so much between the lines, my imagination can take me as far as I want to go.
Today I realise a powerful mind is one that is able to see relationships and people for what they are instead of cooking up stories about them in the mind. Analysis is with markets, with subjects, with data and books... not with human beings… with human beings its love, expressions, belief , faith, trust and understanding. Trust is indeed the foundation of a relationship and if that I allow that itself to shake every second, how will I build the beautiful castle I want to with my loved ones? Even I was to put others aside, for my own peace and happiness its best that I stop reading between lines. I should learn to see things for what they are, and wherever things are not that clear, I should have the courage to ask the person involved to clarify for me. oh, how simple everything would be then.
Today I understand a beautiful paradox of life – when it's a matter of books, I should read between the lines to get a deeper meaning, a greater understanding. When it's a matter of people, I should drop the habit if I want to have beautiful, peaceful relationships. A quote says that assumptions are the termites of relationships? True, isnt it?
-Anita Pansari and Megha Bajaj
